"If you cleanse with a friend......"

Ok, so I get the point of infomercials I really do...to take up time when they can find nothing better to put on TV. The fact that they can't find anything better to put on TV at 11:30 a.m. is the first thing that worries me. The second....infomercials on bowel movements and backed up fecal matter.

YOU REALLY CAN'T FIND ANYTHING BETTER THAN THIS TO PUT ON T.V.?

I really don't care about how often your toddler poops or your grandma poops. In fact I was much better before I knew this horrid piece of information.

So, if you feel the need to cleanse and then look at your bowel movement (I shit you not I'm writing this as the infomercial is on) then get Dual Action Cleanse.

I feel the need to write ABC and my local network and explain to them how disturbing this is. I can't even eat my lunch...I know I could change the channel, but this crap, bad choice of words there, stuff is just mind boggling.

Ok, I'm done grossing everyone else out. Anyone else seen any crazy infomercials lately??

Dear So and So, Family Edition

Thank God it's Friday!!! And thank God for Kat over at 3 Bedroom Bungalow for hosting Sear So and So every week. This week mine will be aimed at family.



Dear MIL,

I know I got relatively lucky and you don't drive me completely mad, but we need to have a talk. You are getting older, face it. The shirts that you boobs hang out of that you bought from the juniors department are no longer ok. The leopard print bathroom with pink fuzzy everything, from toothbrush holders, to shower curtain rings, and the rug...that's not cool. You are not 12. The one night stands that you bring back to your house from the club, also not cool. Don't plan on ever getting to keep Little A at your house without me or Hubs there. Just saying...
Your least favorite DIL,

The grown up one

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Dear FIL,

I know you love us and miss us terribly. But this coming to visit every other weekend needs to STOP. You do realize you live 15 hours away...right?? How about we make it an every other month thing for my sanity. Kthxbi.

Constantly Hosting,

The crazed DIL

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Dear SIL,

Oh how happy I am we moved far far away from you. It is nothing personal, Hubs and I just hated spending every waking minute with you. Now you are coming to visit for the first time, with your girlfriend. Please, for your brothers sake don't do anything stupid like kiss your girlfriend in the commissary, it is frowned upon.

Don't ask don't tell,

The Prude One

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Dear Grandmother,

I understand you are about 3 minutes younger than God. But it doesn't give you the right to be mean just for the hell of it. You have made it very clear that you HATE Little A's name. We get it already. Not your choice. Please pick something else to gripe over, it's been 14 months already.

The name nazi,

A.L.B.



~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~



This is VERY therapeutic....everyone should try it at least once.

Scared of WHAT??

So today I realized that I am a big fat chicken!

I don't know why it took me so long to figure this out....but I am. Maybe it's because I'm not scared of things like heights or spiders.

What scares me you ask...the shower curtain. You read that right. When it touches my feett in the shower it makes me scream. See, I told you I was a chicken.

Another thing, I can't put my hand in a box without having this fear that a snake is going to put its fangs in me. I know it's stupid, but it goes from the box with the trash bags in it, to the coke boxes, to the cereal boxes.

Is anyone else scared of anything completly ridiculous like I am? Or am I just a freak!?!

Holy Cows!

I love the rain. Little A loves the rain. Hubs loves the rain. I hate cows who smell really bad when it rains. Lately it has been raining every morning in this tiny little Podunk town we live in. It's wonderful really, until you have to walk outside. The smell of wet cow is something no one should ever have to experience more than once in there lives. Yet I have had to smell it every morning for the last 2 weeks. I'd love nothing more than to go Febreeze their asses.

OK...other than that little rant I started and finished Nights In Rodanthe yesterday. Cried just a little, but over all I really liked it. Hubs actually laughed at me because I was finishing up my book while cooking dinner last night. He walked into the kitchen to find me sitting on the counter with my feet against the wall, crying, an stirring the pasta. He looked, laughed, and walked away. He's a smart man for turning around.

Is it weird that Little A will lay on the couch with me all day and listen to me read one of my books but she can't sit through one of her five page cardboard books? She's a goofy kid I tell you.

Oh well, I need to go pick out another book to read today.

The Lost Romantic

I am possibly the least romantic person you will ever meet. It works out well because Hubs comes in a pretty close second. The thought of a candle lit dinner and a nice walk on the beach makes me want to gouge my eyes out with a spoon. Yes it's that bad! I also hate love story type movies.

But with that being said I LOVE LOVE LOVE a good romance novel. They suck me in and it's a horrible feeling I tell you!! (It really gives me a good laugh too.) I am actually getting ready to sit down and read "Nights in Rodanthe" by Nicholas Sparks. I have heard the book is better than the movie and since I refuse to put myself through the nightmare of actually watching it I shouldn't have a problem!!

Books still sitting on my shelf to read: The Notebook (and again, I haven't seen the movie), A Walk To Remember (again haven't seen the movie), and Last Kiss. I should have most of them done by the end of the week.

Anybody have any other good books to read?

Wow...I Need HBO

But since I don't have it I thank God for Netflix! Like I said in an earlier post I am way behin on movies and such. Well that and uch would be TV shows, and last night I got to sit down and watch the first 2 episodes of True Blood from Season 1 (see I told you I was behind!). AMAZING!!!! I was hooked within the first 5 minutes...and I look over at Hubs who was supposed to be playing a computer game but was glued to the TV as much as I was. I told him he could come sit on the couch with me and we could watch it together. He laughed and came over to watch it with me! Now we just have to sit and wait patiently for the next disc to get here with Episodes 3 and 4.

I finally found the time this weekend to finish "My Sister's Keeper" and cried my eyes out for most of the book. It was very much so worth the read. Now I just need to go find another book to sit down and read.

This weekend I decided to go for a run. Bad plan. When it is 97 degrees at 7:00 am you should probably just go to the gym and run on a machine there. Ya know the one's with the fans the keep you cool. I made it about 20 minutes before I thought I was going to die so I have to cut my run short...but at least I got out there and did it, right??

Little A is learning to sleep in. And that makes a mommy VERY happy!! Now, for a bit of a background. She normally gets up by 5:45 every morning and she never missed a beat. It makes you want to jump off a bridge. But this weekend and into today she has slept in until at least 7:30. I am doing a secret happy dance that only she and I get! Not that I get to sleep that late, but I don't have to drag my ass out of bed at 5:45 in the morning now! If she would just keep this up I may start doing flips!

Any other good TV shows or movies I should see since I am so behind and stuff?!?! I need to make my Netflix list longer.

Dear So and So,

It's that time of week again. Friday's are so much fun thanks to Kat. Check her out, she is so funny!

Dear Little A,

I love you kid. You are awesome, really you are. But that box next to mommy's computer is there to keep you from pushing the pretty blue button. It isn't for you to climb up on so you can then climb into my lap while I am working. Just saying.

Your lap cushion,
Mama

~~~~~~~~~~

Dear Hubs,

I am only one person. I can't do everything. Don't get mad because YOUR car is a mess. Pick it up! I don't have time. I have to cook breakfast, lunch, and dinner, clean he house, take care of Little A and run all the errands. Get over it, thanks.

Your Superhero,
Superwife

~~~~~~~~~~~

Dear Neighbors,

I understand you like to have parties. That's great, whatever, I really don't care. Until I need to go somewhere and all of your drunk guests cars are blocking my drive way. I'm not the only one who has a problem with this. The entire street does. Please teach your guests how drive ways work.

Yours Truly,
Pissed off neighbor

~~~~~~~~~~~

Dear Betty Crocker,

I love you, more than you will ever know. But your Milk Chocolate Frosting is killing me slowly. You see, I am trying to get in shape and lose weight and stuff. But you my good friend are making it hard. The spoonfuls of frosting can't be healthy for me. So grow some legs and make your way to the outside garbage can please!

Fattening me up,
Moo Cow

~~~~~~~~~~

Dear Mr. Big Truck Driver,

Yeah, you in the Ford. Learn to park your vehicle if you are going to drive it. I don't appreciate coming outside to see I have 4 inches to open the door and get Little A in her car seat. I believe you should have to go taking a parking lot test if you are going to drive anything that big. Or park your shit in the back.

Little bit pissy~
SUV driver

Thursday Playlist

It's that time again! My top 5 picks for this week on my playlist!!

"Boom Boom Pow" ~ Black Eyed Peas

"What I Meant To Say" ~ Daughtry

"Wait For Me" ~ Theory Of A Deadman

"God Love Her" ~ Toby Keith

"The Crow & The Butterfly" ~ Shinedown

Ok. Those are my top 5 for the week! If you have any favorites leave me a comment and let me know!! Who knows, maybe they will make my list next week!

Becoming A Pretty Little Housewife.

I am not what anyone would call a wonderful housewife. I try, really I do, but sometimes I just fall short. Like, dishes...those things SUCK! I believe that the dishwasher should be able to take everything off the plates and bowls.


But something I have gotten better at is baking. I love love love cupcakes. They are by far the most amazing things in the world. So last night I decided it was time to learn how to makes homemade cupcakes. I did it! I made homemade peanut butter cupcakes and they are to die for delicious!! Hubs fell in love. But sadly Little A doesn't even get to try them....no peanut butter for her. But here are is my mater piece.

They are nothing fancy, and you can top it with what ever you like (I of course picked milk chocolate).

I am trying to learn to cook "real" food, but Hubs is a super picky eater. If it looks like a veggie you can forget it. Luckily Little A would rather eat her veggies and fruit than anything else (as long as she gets a waffle for breakfast). And needless to day Hubs's bad eating habits are making my 30 DAY SHRED a bigger pain in my ass than it already is!

Oh, and yesterday we found out that Hubs's family is coming out for a visit next month. Ask me later and I will let you know how I feel about this I can't wait to see them and entertain them for a full 7 days! I will keep you updated on what type of crazy activities I plan for there trip here. Oh, and did I mention Hubs can't take leave then and will be on 7 12's that week. I could kill him He works so hard! Oh well, I will get through this just like I get through everything else!

The Perfect Child

I like to think I have her. Little A is WONDERFUL! She is now 14 months old and walking and talking like a champ! We can go anywhere and she is so well behaved! Going out to eat is so easy for us because she sits in a highchair and plays with the crayons they bring and the loads and loads of toys I bring for her. She eats everything that is put on her plate. She is not a picky eater at all...we are talking Little A ate a raw onion at Red Lobster yesterday. She isn't scared of anything! She loves playing in the dirt and loving on her baby doll. She gives hugs and kisses like they are going out of style! She doesn't say "no"...yet. It is always "yes mom" or "yes dada" and she says it with a smile on her face. Though she is always into something she is very OCD (she got it honestly really) and puts everything back where she found it.


This child is my entire world. The problem...I am no longer hers!! She use to need me for everything. Now she needs me to change her diaper and get her milk. Now she takes care of 'Baby'...her oh so creative name for her baby doll. She feeds it her left overs, makes sure it has plenty of juice splashed on her face and loves it like she will never see it again! Last night Little A decided baby needed a bath after she got done with hers. She ran into her room and got baby out of her stroller and drug her into the bathroom where she would proceed to give Baby a bath...in the toilet. I guess it made since, because it was the only water left in the bathroom (except the river she made on the floor during her bath). Thank GOD the company this doll is made by makes them completely machine washable!!! (If you have a girl or ever have a girl check out these Corolle dolls...they are WONDERFUL...they have all different ages and cool stuff like that)


Anyways...I'm going to go back to my happy blissful world with Little A and avoid the real world of doing laundry, dishes, and the ever so dreaded Commissary. I will leave you with a picture of my life!

I'm so behind!

On movies that is! I don't get out much. Little A keeps mine and Hubs hands tied so we live off of Netflix and the base library movie. Last night I got around to watching "He's Just Not That Into You" and I for whatever reason adored it! Maybe it's because I have a secret crush on Justin Long (what can I say I love skinny guys) but I could seriously watch that movie every night!! And the good news...Hubs didn't absolutely hate it like he hates almost every other chick flick known to man kind.

Oh, and after being in this house for 2 months I finally got the last 2 boxes unpacked. It is sad, I know but Hubs has been slacking on his "Get This Shit Done" list. I needed the book shelf put together. My thoughts...Hubs is a mechanic, putting together a bookshelf will take 5 minutes. I was wrong. Without a TO this crap was nearly impossible!! 2 hours later my bookshelf is together and everything is put up! I finally feel like I have a real house!

And I did my first day of the 30 DAY SHRED yesterday and I would like to say these words in the nicest way possible. Jillian Michaels, I hate you, I hurt, and you made me feel weak! Screw you! That was a nice as I could put it. I am going to make Hubs do it with me this evening so he can see why I'm walking funny.

Dear So and So,

This is my first Dear So and So...Check out Kat over at 3 Bedroom Bungalow!




Dear USAF Finance Department,

Please get your shit together. It has been 3 months of screw up from you guys. The problem is, you over paid us again. Now to most people this would not be a problem, but see I have this addiction, called shopping. You are pouring fuel on the fire here by giving us "extra" money that you are just going to snatch back from me. Hubs has been to talk to you 7 times now and still, nothing. Please for the love of God, fix it.

Yours Truly,
The Dependent

Dear Jillian Michaels,

I am starting your 30 day shred today. Not to lose weight, I'm a good weight really, but I need to build muscle. Please I am begging you don't make me hate you. I want to like you, I really do, but I would prefer not to have my ass handed to me on Day 1.

Yours Truly,
The out of shape mommy

Dear Hubs,

The reason they make dirty clothes hampers is for, get this, DIRTY CLOTHES. Please put your nasty work clothes in the basket and not next to the basket or for that matter 10 feet away from the basket. Laundry would get done in a much more timely manner if I had any idea what was supposed to be washed!

Forever Yours,
The Laundry Lady

Thursday Playlist

Ok...so I'm a HUGE music fan...I love most everything so I thought I would post the top five songs I am listening to currently.

"Life After You" ~ Daughtry

"Beautiful You" ~ Saving Abel

"Second Chance" ~ Shinedown

"Don't Trust Me" ~ 3OH!3

"Then" ~ Brad Paisley

What is currently on your playlist? Anything awesome I should check out?

Remember:

"Music washes away from the soul the dust of everyday life"~Berthold Auerbach

Bookworm

I am. I love reading. And right now I am reading

It is amazing! If you haven't read the book..go read it...NOW.

Yes I know it is a movie too and it is so much easier to just go watch the movie...but the book is so worth the time!

A History Lesson

About the one and only ME!

I was born and raised in North Carolina. But my life was turned upside down at 16 when my dear ol' dad decided to pick up and move us all half way across the country to Texas.

I met my best friend in the entire world...my now husband...right after I moved to Texas. We got married when we were 21 and had a beautiful little girl on May 23, 2008. The hubby joined the Air Force and left for Basic Training in December of last year and now that BMT and Tech School are complete we are living together as a happy family again at our first duty station in New Mexico.

I am an avid reader and computer junkie. I am attempting to get myself in shape by going to the gym 4 days a week...it isn't really going as well and as fast as I had hoped. I love photography and am a crafty person. My 'drug' of choice is shopping and trying to find the best deal out there.
There will be plenty more to learn about me later...but I have mommy things to do now.

Who would have thought!

I am a wife.

I am a mom.

I am...

ME.

I wanted somewhere to go where I could rant about being a wife and being a mom. And somewhere were I could stay true to myself.

And sitting down with an actual journal and writing isn't something I am good at. So here I am in the blog world. We will see how it goes!