Dear So and So,

Dear Little A,

NO MORE CHOCOLATE...ever.

Love Always,
Mama

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Dear Hub's Shop,

Really? You are grown men....can we stop with the high school drama bull shit?

Annoyed,
Wife

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Dear Hobby Lobby,

Christmas stuff already? Halloween isn't even here yet. Can't we take it one holiday at a time please.

Confused,
The Holiday Grinch

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Dear Readers,

Sorry, I have nothing interesting and funny today. It's been a weird week. But YOU can be witty and fun by going to Kat's Blog and grabbing her button and signing Mr. Linky.

Exhausted,
a.l.b.

Dear So and So,

Dear Little A,

4:00 a.m. is not play time, it is also not time to go outside and run around like a crazy child. I hope you learn this and soon...I'm not so sure I can go through another night like last night. Mommy and Daddy love our sleep....you should too!

Needs Her Beauty Sleep,
Mama

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Dear Hubs,

Thanks for trying to get Little A back to sleep...even though I know you did it for your own selfish reason. You know I can be the queen of bitchy on only 3 hours of sleep.

The Queen Bee,
Your Wife

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Dear In-Laws,

I am not your personal slave. I do not do things to meet your every whim. If you want to come visit I will pretend it is all good. But call the hotel and make your own reservations with your own credit card instead of mine.

The Pissy Pants,
You DIL

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Dear Brain,

Please start functioning, I have thing to do today that require you to work a little.

Still Sleeping,
The Rest Of My Body

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Dear USAF Finance Department,

Thank You. Yes, you heard me....I said thank you. After 3 and a half months you have FINALLY figured everything out and we received our first "normal paycheck" today. Thank You also for admitting that your group is possibly the stupidest the Air Force has and it would be better if it went to all civilians (I'm not kidding the Chief said this). Whatever you managed to do finally worked and I am very appreciative and will now stop calling and harassing you.

I Got My Money,
The Dependant

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Dear Readers,

Go check out Kat. She is sure to give you a huge smile!

Forever Your Blogger Friend,
a.l.b.

Dear So and So,

Dear lovely new neighbors,

I know you just moved in this week. I also assume you know how to read....that name plate on our front door is to show that someone lives there....STOP PARKING IN MY DRIVEWAY! idiot.

Give me back my drive way,

A.L.B.

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Dear Little A,

I get it, your teeth hurt. Mommy has done everything in her magical powers to make them stop hurting but you are making it impossible. You can't only cry and sleep can you?!?!

The uninspired tooth fairy,

Mama

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Dear Moby Wrap,

Where have you been my whole life?!?!? Well, Little A's whole life?!?!?! You are a wonder worker of a baby carrier and my back doesn't hurt! And did I mention she doesn't cry when she is cradled up in you?!?! I Love You!

Forever grateful,

Baby carrier wearing fool

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Dear Readers,

If you haven't already you need to go check out Kat over at 3 Bedroom Bungalow. She is awesome and she hosts Dear So and So every Friday!

Always,

A.L.B.

Dear So and So, Family Edition

Thank God it's Friday!!! And thank God for Kat over at 3 Bedroom Bungalow for hosting Sear So and So every week. This week mine will be aimed at family.



Dear MIL,

I know I got relatively lucky and you don't drive me completely mad, but we need to have a talk. You are getting older, face it. The shirts that you boobs hang out of that you bought from the juniors department are no longer ok. The leopard print bathroom with pink fuzzy everything, from toothbrush holders, to shower curtain rings, and the rug...that's not cool. You are not 12. The one night stands that you bring back to your house from the club, also not cool. Don't plan on ever getting to keep Little A at your house without me or Hubs there. Just saying...
Your least favorite DIL,

The grown up one

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Dear FIL,

I know you love us and miss us terribly. But this coming to visit every other weekend needs to STOP. You do realize you live 15 hours away...right?? How about we make it an every other month thing for my sanity. Kthxbi.

Constantly Hosting,

The crazed DIL

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Dear SIL,

Oh how happy I am we moved far far away from you. It is nothing personal, Hubs and I just hated spending every waking minute with you. Now you are coming to visit for the first time, with your girlfriend. Please, for your brothers sake don't do anything stupid like kiss your girlfriend in the commissary, it is frowned upon.

Don't ask don't tell,

The Prude One

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Dear Grandmother,

I understand you are about 3 minutes younger than God. But it doesn't give you the right to be mean just for the hell of it. You have made it very clear that you HATE Little A's name. We get it already. Not your choice. Please pick something else to gripe over, it's been 14 months already.

The name nazi,

A.L.B.



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This is VERY therapeutic....everyone should try it at least once.

Dear So and So,

It's that time of week again. Friday's are so much fun thanks to Kat. Check her out, she is so funny!

Dear Little A,

I love you kid. You are awesome, really you are. But that box next to mommy's computer is there to keep you from pushing the pretty blue button. It isn't for you to climb up on so you can then climb into my lap while I am working. Just saying.

Your lap cushion,
Mama

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Dear Hubs,

I am only one person. I can't do everything. Don't get mad because YOUR car is a mess. Pick it up! I don't have time. I have to cook breakfast, lunch, and dinner, clean he house, take care of Little A and run all the errands. Get over it, thanks.

Your Superhero,
Superwife

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Dear Neighbors,

I understand you like to have parties. That's great, whatever, I really don't care. Until I need to go somewhere and all of your drunk guests cars are blocking my drive way. I'm not the only one who has a problem with this. The entire street does. Please teach your guests how drive ways work.

Yours Truly,
Pissed off neighbor

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Dear Betty Crocker,

I love you, more than you will ever know. But your Milk Chocolate Frosting is killing me slowly. You see, I am trying to get in shape and lose weight and stuff. But you my good friend are making it hard. The spoonfuls of frosting can't be healthy for me. So grow some legs and make your way to the outside garbage can please!

Fattening me up,
Moo Cow

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Dear Mr. Big Truck Driver,

Yeah, you in the Ford. Learn to park your vehicle if you are going to drive it. I don't appreciate coming outside to see I have 4 inches to open the door and get Little A in her car seat. I believe you should have to go taking a parking lot test if you are going to drive anything that big. Or park your shit in the back.

Little bit pissy~
SUV driver

Dear So and So,

This is my first Dear So and So...Check out Kat over at 3 Bedroom Bungalow!




Dear USAF Finance Department,

Please get your shit together. It has been 3 months of screw up from you guys. The problem is, you over paid us again. Now to most people this would not be a problem, but see I have this addiction, called shopping. You are pouring fuel on the fire here by giving us "extra" money that you are just going to snatch back from me. Hubs has been to talk to you 7 times now and still, nothing. Please for the love of God, fix it.

Yours Truly,
The Dependent

Dear Jillian Michaels,

I am starting your 30 day shred today. Not to lose weight, I'm a good weight really, but I need to build muscle. Please I am begging you don't make me hate you. I want to like you, I really do, but I would prefer not to have my ass handed to me on Day 1.

Yours Truly,
The out of shape mommy

Dear Hubs,

The reason they make dirty clothes hampers is for, get this, DIRTY CLOTHES. Please put your nasty work clothes in the basket and not next to the basket or for that matter 10 feet away from the basket. Laundry would get done in a much more timely manner if I had any idea what was supposed to be washed!

Forever Yours,
The Laundry Lady