What Happens When You Give A Child Caffiene....

Last night Hubs gave Little A a chocolate chip cookie. Normally they do nothing for her. But this was no ordinary cookie....it had magical powers. My 15 month old turned into Crazy Baby!

Let me play this scene out for you.....

*Sitting on the couch with daddy eating a cookie watching the last 15 minutes of Barney*

Mom: Ok munchkin, bed time.

*Little A reaches up gives us goodnight kisses and hugs and then we head off to bed*

8:30 rolls around and I hear giggling coming from her room.

I go in to see what the heck is so funny and she is sitting....staring at the wall...laughing.

I bring her out to the living room to see if I can calm her down a little.

*The craziness begins*

Hubs is talking to his parents and I am sitting on the floor getting ready to read Little A a book when she takes off. Running in a circle sticking her tongue out yelling "ARRRRRRRRRR."

Then she proceeded to do a front flip on tile floor...laughing hysterically.

She got up took off at full speed down the hall and ran smack dab into the wall and yelled "BOOOOOOOOM" as she flew backwards.

She then proceeded to run back down the hall and land right in my lap...knocking the breath right out of me.

FINALLY after 30 minutes of Crazy Baby my Little A came back to me. She put her hand on her hip and looked me square in the eye and said "MaMa...Night Night."

She walked back to her room (hand still on the hip) and sat next to her crib until I could comprehend everything that just happened and get back there.

My child has officially lost her ever loving mind...and all caffeine privileges for the rest of her life!

Busted Ear Drums and Military Doctor's....

I LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE (did you catch how much I love here) my mil doctor. He is amazing! He actually diagnosed my busted ear drum without hurting me! This is not the first busted ear drum I have had mind you...but it is the first where I had to go to the clinic. My civilian doctor jammed stuff in my ear and said "Oops, looks like you busted it...it will heal." And he was right...it did...but it hurt for 2 months. Today, Mr. Doc. Looked gently said "I know this hurts and then gave me meds to help heal it!" YAY!

But wait...what's the back story on how I busted my ear drum you ask. I wasn't doing anything cool like a rock concert or standing by loud speakers. No, nothing like that. I was walking down the street with Little A when a bee buzzed his happy little butt right up on my ear...and STUNG me! Apparently the buzzing of said bee in my ear was enough to cause it to bust. And Mr. Doc. was also nice enough to take the stinger out of the inside of my ear.

Just one more reason for me to hate bees.

But I can use this being almost completely deaf in my left ear to my advantage...and I may have last night!

"I'm sorry honey...I really couldn't hear Little A crying, thank you for finally getting up and doing something about it!"

"I'm sorry honey, were you bitching about what I made for dinner....I couldn't hear you. I thought you said you wanted broccoli."

I could get use to this.

Now, the one thing the doc said that made me giggle a little was "Try and avoid and loud noises for the next 2 weeks."

What's Little A doing as he says his....banging the knee reflex instrument against the wall.

So now would be a wonderful time for Hubs to take his two weeks leave and go back and visit his family with Little A!

Oh What A Long Miserable Weekend....

It all started Friday with the Squadron Picnic....you know that thing I busted my arse fundraising for while trying to prepare for the in laws to arrive....was a bust. I mean people showed up but the planning of the actual picnic was kinda poorly done....maybe I should have taken on that task too!

The guys were bored out of there minds....there was nothing for them to do that was "fun" when there should have been because it was a day off to them. So everyone sat around drinking and talking....and drinking an talking.... For the first time I actually felt bad for them!

Little A and Burger became even better friends!! She followed him EVERYWHERE he went so he finally just picked her up and took her with him. A break for me!!!!! YAY!!!!!

Saturday was just all around boring...school work and more school work and then a Uni*som so I could actually get a decent nights sleep. I don't really like the way it makes me feel the next day but man does it work if you don't want to wake up throughout the night or dream or anything....it's like you are dead to the world!

Sunday we spent the day doing searches online for the perfect dog to add to our family. I know we have baby talk going on here but we also have fur baby talk going on too. We found the perfect Little addition....now we are playing the waiting game. She's a one and a half year old Full Blooded Golden Retriever. It was love at first sight on the computer. She was raised around kids but her owners had to put her up for adoption when they moved over seas. The only down side is it is a 3 hour drive to go get her! So hopefully I will be making that drive by Wednesday! Everyone keep your fingers crossed for me! We really really want this little fur baby.

Well, I hope you ladies had a wonderful weekend! But now it is back to that stupid Monday chore list. Dishes, laundry, vacuum, sweep, mop.....oh how I hate Mondays...

Dear So and So,

Dear In Laws,

Thank God you are gone...don't come back.

Peeved,

DIL

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Dear Guy Who Grabbed My Butt At The Gym,

Two words for you mister....How Rude!

Modestly,

Mrs. Nice Butt

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Dear Little A,

I know you had a rough weekend and I just want to make sure you know I love you. So we are going to spend the entire day at the park with a bunch of drunk Airman...Sorry honey.

The Protective one,

Mama

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Dear Readers,

If you want to participate hop on over to Kat's blog and pick up the button and sign Mr. Linky! She's a funny chick!!

And I'm Out,

a.l.b.

Oh Hubs...What To Do With Thee?

So I was sitting here minding my own business when my phone rings at 6:57 this morning. It's Hubs...ya know the man who has to be at work at 7:00 every morning.

Well he was calling to inform me that he forgot to shave before he left the house in such a hurry this morning.

I laughed and said "Good for you!"

He asked me very politely to bring his razor up to him.

I say "Ok, be there in a few minutes."

Things I have to do before I can leave the house....put on clothes (that cute nightie I had on would have been a little much to show up in), find said razor, wake Little A up, load everything into car.

Wait...where's the car???????

Cussing and throwing things I pick up the phone and call Hubs to ask him what he did with my car (we only have one...but I like to think it is really mine).

He says, "Oh, I brought it this morning, I didn't feel like walking."

We live on base, so I load Little A up in her stroller and start walking, it's exactly 2.7 miles from my house to his shop....

My phone rings again at 7:08 and it is yet again Hubs asking if I'm almost there....

"No honey, it takes me longer than 6 minutes to walk almost 3 miles."

So I get to the shop at about 7:30 and he is already out on the flight line.

Lucky for me Burger was still inside so I gave him the razor and told him to go get my keys...I was taking my car home!

I am now sitting at my house with my car parked in the driveway...out of spite....and HE can walk home!

Oh, and I also get to see the fruits of my labor tomorrow....all that stuff I did for the Burger Burn Fundraiser will pay off tomorrow. The Squadron picnic is being held (it's an all day event) and as of now they have 6 Kegs and the jumpy bouncy things for the kids. And of course burgers, hot dogs, and chicken. I hope it goes over well, and people actually show up. I think the beer is a bribe really.

And I'm Better Now...Part 3

Let's see....I left off yesterday with us heading to the caverns.

My mommy thoughts are this "It's a 45 minute drive to the caverns that is plenty of time for Little A to get a nap in so she can be rested for the caves." But what do I know about having a kid right....she doesn't need a nap....She's only saying "night night" and rubbing her eyes. But instead the SIL and her girlfriend decide they are going to ride with us and sit in the back seat with her. Hubs's family is loud, their inside voice is the rest of the worlds screaming voice in the middle of Time Square on New Year's Eve...really, they are that loud.

So Little A is sitting in her car seat staring at them. I'm not even sure she blinked. But she never did get to take a nap. When we got there they wanted to get yet another breakfast (these people also need to eat full meals about every hour and a half) so we went to the restaurant they have in the caverns and ordered food. Little A was eating off of Hubs's plate so I thought it was a wonderful time for me to run and use the ladies room while she wasn't paying attention.

WRONG.

Apparently in the 7 minutes it took me to get to the restroom, pee, wash my hands, and get back they finished eating Hubs had gone to use the restroom and the In Laws were trying to get Little A strapped into the hiking back pack. The child ha NEVER been in this thing before and she has 4 people she doesn't like surrounding her trying to put her in a contraption she has never seen before. She was screaming so loud she was purple. I sprinted across the restaurant back to my baby and grabbed her out of the back pack and yelled at the In Laws for being such idiots. I took Little A outside and got her calmed down and put her in the back pack myself. She went right in, with no trouble and then Hubs got her loaded up on his back to begin the journey down through the caves.

Little A fell asleep in the back pack about 5 minutes down the walk way which made the trip down almost enjoyable. Once we got down to the bottom Little A woke up and wanted me...well...I can't wear the back pack because it is just to big for me so I put on her sling and we walked the last 1.5 miles up hill. That was not enjoyable. She was kicking and grabbing and scratching, I was walking as fast as I could to get out of there. The rest of the crew was pissed because I wasn't looking around and taking in all the wonders of the cave. I bite my tongue and just kept walking.

We FINALLY got out of there and decided we should probably head home since it was almost 3:00. I was jumping up and down! HOME!!!!! Sweet home!!! Little did I know it was going to take 5 hours for a 3 hour trip. Only because they had to stop and eat....twice on the way home.

Once we got back to my wonderfully beautiful house I kissed the floor and everything that was right! I got Little A a bath and ready for bed when they decided we needed to eat dinner...again....I told them to go without me I was putting Little A to bed and just sitting for a bit. They threw a fit because that means they didn't get to spend as much time as they wanted with Little A and I very politely told them to get over it! She's still a baby...she still has a bed time...and a schedule that we try to keep because it works for us!

They decided we just just do more fast food but bring it home this time. They stayed here until about 11:30 before going back to the hotel and calling it a night.

Sunday morning they came over before 7:00 and asked why Little A wasn't awake yet....really, are you serious...and they were....so they went and woke her up. My skin was crawling. But they decided they were going to cook breakfast so I offered to run to the store to get everything we needed ( I really just needed an escape). I layed Little A down in her room about 9:30 before I left....I got back 20 minutes later and they had already gotten her back out of bed. She was crying and sitting under my computer desk but no one seemed to care that she was scared....they just kept doing things to scare her even more. I dropped the groceries and swooped up my poor baby.

While the SIL was cooking breakfast she made the biggest mistake of the weekend. Her words quoted for you guys...."a.l.b. I'm just going to say it because we have all discussed it but no one else has the guts to say it to you. You aren't a very good mom....you have to let her cry every now and then. And you kept her from us all weekend."

I went ape shit. No one comes in to my house, scares my kid and then calls me a bad mom. That's just not cool.

Now while I know and completely agree that I have to let Little A cry sometimes there are times I don't. When she gets hurt, when she is scared, and when we are in a public restaurant after 7:00 p.m. (I think it's kinda rude so I am going to do everything in my powers to make sure she is being good.)

After I went off on everyone for coming into MY house and scaring the living hell out of my child they decided it was probably a good idea if they leave that evening instead of he next morning. I didn't speak to them again.

When they left I was the happiest person ever. And then Hubs had the nerve to say "See honey, it wasn't all that bad." AND HE WAS SERIOUS! Now he is talking about taking 2 weeks leave to go back and visit his family....I told him to have fun I'd see him when he got back.

So, that was my weekend with the In Laws, and I never EVER want to have to deal with that again!

Thanks for sticking with my story! I know it was long and just a serious rant.....but I feel better now that I put it out there!

Oh, and after they got home and called to tell us so they also told me that they were going to be monitoring my eating habits because I was to small......I'm sorry....I eat 3 healthy meals a day with two snacks and go to the gym and work out 3 days a week. I can't do the whole eat fast food every couple of hours everyday for 4 days. I was so sick after that!

And I'm Better Now...Part 2

Ok, so where were we...oh yeah...enjoying the pool with Little A.


She was splashing and kicking and laughing and loving every minute of it...until....the FIL decided he wanted to get in with her too (she hates this man...really she does). The logical thing for him to have done was to walk in using the steps like a normal person. But no, he jumps cannon balls into the shallow end of the pool where she is playing. She went bat shit crazy. He splashed water all in her face and scared my poor baby half to death. I did everything in my mommy super powers to calm my child down...but she was done. She didn't want anywhere near that water or that man again.


I got her in her pack n play (which she hates more than life itself, I might add) and sound asleep when there is banging on my door at the hotel, which in turn wakes Little A up. I'm about 2 seconds from throwing someone off the balcony-really I am-but I got up and answered the door to see what in God's name these people wanted.


It was the lovely SIL telling me that they were ordering pizza next door and I needed to come eat once I got Little A to sleep. I gave her a big *F YOU* and shut the door. 2 hours later, around 11:00 p.m., I get Little A back to sleep (and don't ask where Hubs was when all this was going on because your guess is as good as mine) and went next door to get a slice of pizza before I passed out. But was there any pizza left for me when I got there....noooooooo....they ate it all. So for dinner Friday night I had a bag of Sun Chips and a Coke from the Vending machine. This trip was a FABULOUS idea! *insert sarcasm here*


Before everyone went to bed the ever so awesome FIL tells us we need to be downstairs for breakfast at 6:45 so we can leave by 7:15. I, in my very nicest tone of voice told him "I will be down there when Little A wakes up and is ready to go for the day." He did not like that answer...but I'm sorry...if we are going to be hiking all day she is getting whatever amount of sleep she wants before I get her ready for the day.


So I show up at breakfast the next morning at 8:00 with Hubs by my side. Everyone else was done and waiting...I may or may not have taken an extra 45 minutes to get ready on purpose. We, meaning they, decided that instead of going to the caves first thing that morning we would go to the Living Desert Zoo first. Awesome....something Little A might be able to enjoy! We get there at about 8:30 and I go to grab the stroller out of the car...it's a 2 mile hike around this place and I knew she wouldn't go to any one else besides me to carry. The In Laws folded my stroller back up and said we don't need that let's go. I should have listened to my mommy gut....it knows what it is talking about! 5 minutes into the hike FIL sees a wasp by the bobcat exhibit. Now before I go on, I thought it was common knowledge that when there is one wasp there is usually a hive nearby. I was mistaken on this little known fact because FIL swats the wasp with his hat and out come 45 more! I got stung 3 times...Little A got stung once....and Hubs got it worst of all with 11. I became completely livid at this point and began screaming at everyone. Little A is crying her eyes out, grabbing her leg and I am doing everything I can to make it not hurt. And while I am yelling and cussing at everyone for hurting my baby THIS little guy crawled across my foot.


I had the worst time EVER at this zoo. It could have been fun...really...to see all these native animals to the area in one place and random ones just walking around....but for 2 miles I had to deal with Little A clinging on for dear life because she thought something else was going to get her...all because FIL couldn't leave the wasp alone.

I was the first one back in to the building where they have an area for kids to pick up and touch all the old bull horns and fossils. She loved that. It was cool and she got to touch stuff without getting in trouble!

After we left there we headed to Carlsbad Caverns. But that will be Part 3 tomorrow....because my blood pressure is rising just telling you guys about this weekend! It still yet....only gets better.